Mackinac Bridge Jesus
Jesus is written for anyone,
anywhere who’s struggled with addiction, sexual orientation, mental health,
crazy families, finding God, losing jobs, getting old, getting laid and
generally living life on life’s terms. It speaks to the dysfunctional members of
society – those of us known as the vast majority. Mackinac Bridge Jesus is a
collection of twisted, tragic, comedic and tender biographical essays about
healing, forgiveness, finding the perfect bra and embalming your relatives. Each
story speaks to freedom that comes when we stop taking ourselves so damn
Mackinac Bridge Jesus is part
tent revival, part 12-step meeting and part open-mic night at the Improv. If you
like Augusten Burroughs, Anne Lamott, Emmet Fox or perhaps a grittier, gayer
Erma Bombeck, Mackinaw Bridge Jesus is for you.
Jesus is now available as a physical copy for $19.95. Read Mackinac
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Read an excerpt from Mackinac Bridge Jesus by scrolling below the red line at the bottom of this page.
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Jesus – formatted for the Kindle e-Reader
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"The author lets you in to her life and spirituality in a way that few people can. Courageous and inspiring."
"Touching. True to life. The author pulls you in and doesn't let go. Lively characters, funny and heartbreaking at the same time."
"This book is super funny! And its thoughtful, thought-provoking, and did I mention funny?! It truly is a book for anyone. Highly recommended!"
"This book has really touched me in many ways. Charlotte's quick wit and true hold on sobriety is conveyed in a way that makes you want to read more. Give this book a try!"
"This is a witty account of finding yourself, overcoming addictions and growing up in the midwest in the 70s. Charlotte's stories are funny and she really put herself out there in a relatable way. Recommend this book to everyone! It's a great read."
Excerpt from Macinaw Bridge Jesus
If you’re from Michigan you know only two things about the Mackinac Bridge: One, that it joins the upper and lower peninsulas; two, that 20 years ago Leslie Anne Plouhar died when her 1987 Yugo flew over the 36 inch-high railing and plunged into the 50-degree water. Sources say a combination of high winds, excessive speed and Yugoslavian engineering were to blame.
With those two facts in hand, you can see why there is never any good reason to cross the bridge. By car, foot or on the back of a slow-moving ass, which is exactly how I felt that day.
It was a beautifully clear and very chilly morning Labor Day 2008. I had my game-face on and I had conjured up my best possible attitude. There’s nothing worse than running and being a bitch at the same time. I rode the bus, I used the Johnny-on-the-Spot conveniently located near the start line, I even greeted the honorable Granholm without leering. Yes, in less than one hour I would have this nonsense behind me and I’d be driving back to civilization. The things we do for love.
After some memorable words about new investments and jobs and renewable energy and determination and resiliency, Jenny saluted Michigan workers (all 10 of them – the rest of us are unemployed) and officially started the race. We began in groups of 30, so as not to replicate the Yugo incident, I assume. Sharon and I went off in the first group; we agreed that she would run her pace and I would crawl mine. Then we’d reconnect at the finish line.
Within moments Sharon was out of my sight line, up and over the bridge like a Tiddlywink. Every few minutes the next group of 30 was released and I would hear the thunder as another herd passed me by. Young people. Old people. People in wheelchairs. Chain gangs. People running backward. A guy on a Pogo stick. I was the sick wildebeest being separated from the pack. It was only a matter of time before I became an Egg McMuffin for some spotted hyena. Flying off the bridge was actually starting to sound good.